Why So Serious?

The Freshly Pressed page is constantly disappointing me. One person after another people are complaining about how miserable their life is what tough times they’ve been through. I understand that a lot of people use blogs as an outlet to express themselves by how they are feeling, but some need an online diary, and then a personal one. Like the diary that as a teenager I hid under my bed so my parents couldn’t find it.

When it comes to your depressing diary, keep it under lock and key.

When it comes to your depressing diary, keep it under lock and key.

My high school diary was probably the most depressing novel ever written. I fell head over heels in love with a boy who stringed me along on a leash and constantly broke my heart. Every night I would write in my diary and fall asleep crying, ink running down the page from my tears.

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My high school diary.

After I got over him and was seeing a new boyfriend, my life was seemingly happier, but I still had resentment towards him. I wanted to hurt him, just like he hurt me. So, for his birthday I gave him a present. My old diary.

I don’t know why I did. I wanted to get rid of it because every time I saw it i felt a pain in my heart. I did not want to throw it out because it contained so much. In a crazed moment I wrapped it up in wrapping paper and gave it to him at school the next day.

I felt so liberated, empowered. I surrendered, and I felt the wonderful evil glow inside of me. I was scared what he would do with it, but at the same time I didn’t mind. And I went home smiling.

The next day I asked him how he liked his present. He spoke saddened, and could not look me in the eye. “It… was kinda… really depressing.” No surprise there.

“Emz, I am really sorry. I didn’t know how I made you feel, I mean, I knew what I did, I knew it would hurt you, but.. I guess I didn’t know how much..”

My empowerment went from liberating to pity. I was pitying HIM. The boy who hurt me so much. Why? Because it turned out I was over him a long time ago, and that it didn’t matter anymore, whether he was hurt or not. I replied casually.

“Hey, it’s alright.. I’m.. I’m okay now. I just.. wanted you to know-”

“-Yeah… I’m glad you did.. Thanks.”

But he wasn’t glad. He wasn’t glad for a long time after that.

In conclusion: If you give someone your depressing diary to read, it’s going to make them depressed. It may have something important to say, but it will still make them depressed.

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2 thoughts on “Why So Serious?

  1. I find that a lot of Freshly Pressed posts are depressing or angry opinions. Both make for good reading and good stories, I suppose, but you’re right, it’s not always fun to take that stuff in. It’s not uplifting.

    Thanks for following my blog! I really like yours too. You’re a great writer!

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