Friday, 4th of January 2013
I’m back to square one. Every sujmmer I refrain from the sun as much as I can, and one day I’ll forget it and I’ll be completely and utterly burnt. Last year was the first summer I kept my skin white as snow. This year I look like a tomato.
My back feels like a solid flame which I cannot soothe. For a small moment I I thought I’d relax, and this happens.
Today I played the agatha christie computer game and my Steven made me eggs on toast. Afterward I walk in the bedroom and my eyes spring wider open.
I could not believe that I had left it in such a state! I cleaned it all, and made the bed with the new 500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets mum got Steven and I for Christmas. They feel lovely.
After swearing that I would never leave the room in such a state again, I helped mark prepare dinner- 6 lobsters. I’m allergic to shellfish, but it was fun searching for an easy recipe and preparing them.
After the failed diet, I dive into the potato wedges and salad because I didn’t feeling going to hospital after a meal of lobster. Afterward, I help aunty Becky decorate the Pavlova and give my self a generous slice.
After the deliciousness, I realised I’m stuck in a rut. Days after failing a diet, I pig out with potato and pavlova, which will surely cause me to start a new diet.
Just like summer skin and cleaning my room, I have a cycle of indulging and withdrawing until I come to this realisation, in which I know is not going to change it. At the same time, I guess I don’t want to change it.. it keeps life interesting.